By the way our marriage was called Marriage not customary marriage before the European came and downgraded it. Up to today African marriages are considered inferior whiles the European way of marriage are considered The Marriage and superior. Africans are the only people on EARTH who sometimes get married twice European way and African way of marriage they normal don’t considered themselves married properly if they did not get married in a European way. They normal say we will do the white wedding first then we do the customary one (African marriage) even if they have started with the African marriage they will still do the western marriage so that they will feel that they have done things properly, to them African marriage is a half marriage and it’s not a proper marriage. They feel as if it must be fulfilled with the white Marriage. The only thing most Black Woman like in our culture is the dowry part(lobola) .In the western marriage there is no dowry(Lobola) because no one is taking someone there, you are taking one another western marriage is just a contract of staying together  . That is why you both take an oath and say I do, you are marrying one another at the same level of 50/50 so no one must pay Lobola there. The woman marries the man and the man marries the woman in the western marriages.

In African way I take a wife and the wife does not take me that’s why I am the one who must pay the dowry(lobola).In my culture a woman does not marry me but I marry her that is why I pay lobola for her. In my culture a man cannot say am married because a man does not get married but he marry someone (Indvodza ayishadi iyashadelwa,Indvodza iyitsatfwa kepha itsatsa umfati kungako kufanele ilobole ngobe ngiyo letsatsako .Esilungwini  awumtsatsi umfati kepha niyatsatsana kungako kungu 50/50 futsi akulotjolwa  ngesilungu).African marriage is not a contract but a spiritual  union of two families that is sealed by blood, that is why there is no divorce in African marriage. In western marriage they say till dead do us apart but to us even dead does not do us apart but she remains my wife even if she is dead and I remain the husband even when am dead. Our marriage is not just about pen and paper  but its spiritual  union and  the ritual are normal conducted exclusive by the family members .Dowry (lobola) is not for the living but for those who has pass on our ancestors, they are the ones who demand that it must be given.

In most African cultures  a woman’s family is not suppose to receive lobola twice for a same woman that’s why our marriage is permanent  unlike the western where one can divorce and marry several  times. Because Africans are now confused we find woman’s  family accepting dowry(lobola) from several man ,the woman divorcing and marrying  several  times  and that is not accepted in most African cultures. In western marriage a man get married by the wife that is why he is not allowed to have more than one wife. The wife marries the man as they normal knell down to the lady and say will you marry me. If the woman agree then she will marry that man and the man as well will marry the woman and that is a contract of staying together made by pen and paper between the two .In most African culture the woman does not marry the man but the man marries the woman meaning a man does not get married in my culture but  I marry a woman. The lady does not take me but I take the lady to my family she is the one who join my family not me the husband and in this  way I don’t  say am married but I have marry someone  this allows a man to be able to take another wife if necessary. In my culture a man is never taken but it is the woman who is taken because we are the one who take a wife not that the wife is taking a husband.

As long as African ways are considered inferior the dignity of an African will not be restored. It’s a shame even today to see the so called freedom fighters getting married the European way and it shows that they were fighting to be like the oppressors. Most of the so called freedom fighters did not know what they were fighting for if not just to be like the oppressors. Even though almost all African countries have received the so call freedom but all what is for Africa is still considered second if not third. BLACKMAN YOU ON YOUR OWN love yourself more and appreciate what you inherited from your forefathers don’t try to fit in everyone shoes and live to please everyone whiles compromising your own values. The so called freedom fighters were claiming to be fighting for us yet they were aspired to be like the colonizers that’s why after receiving power they continued with the ways of colonizers .Most of them marry the European way as they are aspired to be Europeans. BLACKMAN YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN. Once we have true freedom   African marriage will not be called customary marriage but will be calling THE MARRIAGE. Once we achieve mentally freedom will not desire the so called white’s wedding but will want African’ wedding as they will be African even in their mind.